Si, more… rambling, that is.

March 8, 2010 at 9:18 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s so easy to get comfortable.
Whether it is in your home, job, or lifestyle/schedule, it is very easy to make a daily routine and be comfy with it and settle into it. While this is nice for many reasons (stability, security, knowing what to look forward to, etc)….
It’s fuckin awful sometimes, too.
I have been dreaming of Brazil on and off for the past few years…I have desperately wanted – NEEDED- to travel to South America since before I can remember. And now that I am planning out my trip, I can’t get it off my mind. This is completely fine with me, and I am so content to plan, save, research, etc until the day I leave. It has become a new, exciting part of my life, and it is something that I am really looking forward to.

It is difficult to explain, but feel as though here in Vancouver, something is missing. I can’t put my finger on it. I miss NYC a lot, and think of it every day, and have been thinking about it more than I probably should be. I miss Ny as much as one would miss their true love… I have this crazy yearning to be there again, just for the way it smells, and for how the dirty sidewalks still sparkle, and the symphony of noise…
I have started to plant my roots here, and I haven’t really had real “roots” anywhere before (I am becoming pretty financially secure, have a wonderful apartment, 2 great jobs, an awesome agent, etc). Maybe I am just getting nervous about settling in somewhere? I don’t think that’s it. I like my life and the direction (Up!) that it’s going on. I know that I am on the right path.
But I really want more.

I think maybe I NEED to see what has been drawing me to Brazil for so long. I want to spend 3-6 weeks there and really see it – Sao Paulo, Salvador, Rio, the Amazon, etc…. I have this strong urge to be there, as if there is something there that I can’t learn/find/discover here in Vancouver.

It is very easy for us to take things for granted. I check myself daily to be sure that I am thankful for what I have before I selfishly ask for more… but I want more excitement, more success, more happiness, more love, more of everything. And I’ve already started to make it all happen right now.
There are things I need to change, and my environment needs some change too, and I need to get rid of everything that is toxic to my life. There are so many great things that can be welcomed into my life now that I’m getting rid of all the draining, negative influences…
I think you should join me. At whatever time and in whatever place, right now. If you happen to read this, please join me. Ask for more. From yourself, from your family, friends, and coworkers, from your lover, from strangers. Ask for more from everyone, and give an overflow in return.
Does this stream-of-consciousness make any sense?

Do you want more, too?

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