A new disability has developed and is growing fast – you may have it. But there is help.

March 12, 2010 at 2:25 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s really quite disturbing.  There has been a new disability that has recently been discovered to be developing among healthy individuals.  Your spouse may have it. Your parents or children may have it. Your friends and colleagues may have it.  In fact, more than half of them probably have it…

You may have it.  And one of the sad things is, there is no real test for it.  The good news is that the damage can be reversed completely and you can be cured, BUT most people, unfortunately, are completely unaware that they are disabled and/or are unwilling to admit their disability in order to be proactive and make slight (yes, just small changes are necessary to rid yourself of this illness) adjustments to get well.

It may develop slowly over a period of a few years, or the onset can strike very suddenly in a matter of just days.  There are, like many illnesses/disabilities, good days and bad days.  If the good days outnumber the bad, it can be considered just a minor disorder with occasional flareups of symptoms, and can even go away over time and be seen merely as a virus.  You may not be at risk for further damage later on. Sadly, this is one disability that can cause damage to your personal and business relationships, so please be aware if you have developed this. 

This new disability doesn’t even have a name yet.  In fact, I think I will simplify things for now and give it a name.  It shall be known as I-TechnoScreenoryphlys.  It is a growing social disorder/disability with detrimental side effects.

For those of you concerned readers, I will cut right to the point.  Were you a bit worried there for a moment? Because I think some of you should be.  You may be very ill indeed, but I have posted some surefire cures at the end of this entry, so don’t you worry.  The end of your suffering can be near.

The rapid rate at which technology has progressed in the past few years is astounding, but have you ever wondered that it is growing perhaps a little too fast for us to keep up? It has grown much faster and further than social/behavioural skills within us, and I think that if we don’t allow and encourage these skills/abilities to progress with technology in this way, we are creating a very dangerous, socially retarded (excuse the political incorrectness of the term) society.  Are we are all just waiting to nuke each other anyway without really being able to assess the side effects of what we have created? There is a great imbalance here…



I know many kind, wonderful people who have contracted I-TechnoScreenoryphlys, and I am sad to say that it greatly affects relationships of all kinds.  It comes with an addiction to glowing screens and keyboards and buttons and ringers and vibrators and dangerously addictive games and applications.  One of the greatest signs of it is that you can no longer hold any conversation with this sick person without them reverting back to their IPhone, Blackberry (or in street terms, Crackberry), laptop, PSP, Ipod… etc.  These people may appear to be rude and childish, but please remember that they may not even know how ill they are. They will have the same symptoms of someone with severe ADD, and at times can evem seem autistic, or at worst, totally catatonic.  

Another unfortunate aspect of   I-TechnoScreenoryphlys is that they will neglect your company entirely on some (or most, in the worst stage of this condition) occasions, be UNABLE to maintain eye contact, be completely unable to focus or listen to anything/anyone.  These symptoms are often accompanied by some sort of electronic gizmo that will appear to be molded into the disabled person’s hands, and they can become pale and disoriented.  This disability results in the failure of friendships, familial and romantic relationships, and it is quite painful to watch the progression of this disability because so many people REFUSE admittance or help. 

Don’t despair! There are ways to manage a normal life after you or someone you know has been diagnosed.

 Try to reach out to these people and remind them that you love them, even if they have ignored, neglected, or dismissed you in their desperate state.   Remind them of the real world of human beings with conversation, CONNECTION, laughter, natural light, and uncallused fingers.  It may be hard to reconnect with some of these poor people, but try your best to bring them back.  You may even have to bitch-slap the gadget right out of their sick little hands in order to get through to them – but by golly, we must try.

If you have recently discovered that you are suffering from this terrible disability, you can be proactive about it.  There are simple and effective ways to get better.  Turn off your wireless device in the company of real people, and participate in connecting, conversing, etc. Try to listen to others more often. Focus on conversations that you are having, and try your very best not to zone out and take a step backwards from your recovery. Remember that it is your loved ones who are suffering the most.

Be careful – you don’t want to relapse! Keep in mind that self-absorbed prick-iritis is one of the most widely displayed symptoms of your illness. It’s a tough road to recovery – but it is possible.  Think back to before you became ill, to the last time you had some sense of respect, manners, and social grace, and try to recreate these qualities again in your daily life.  They most likely still reside very deep within you.  Although many people in your life may wish to keep supporting you, it is common and understandable that your loved ones may grow weary and become exhausted in their efforts to aid you, and feel that their efforts have been in vain.  The worst part of this is that in most cases, you may not even notice that they are already gone and have given up… so before it is too late, make an effort.

If you absolutely must use your wireless device in the company of other civilized, healthy people (on a date, family dinner, get-together with beloved friends), do it with courteousy.  Make it brief, and apologize for being impolite.  Remember that if Bill Gates, Barack Obama, or Cyndi Lauper call you, they can always leave a message because you are so important, so incredibly important.  Establish a connection and show some appreciation for those who love you, and I am sure you will be healthier and happier in no time.  Soon enough, with a little effort and conciousness, you will be able to say that you are a survivor!

Don’t be a victim! Get well soon.


1 Comment

  1. Luis said,

    Ooh. I may not suffer from this affliction, but I do have to admit to some responsibility as an enabler. Like the drug pushers in cracktown, I’m exploiting a weakness beyond their control. I feel dirty.

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