What’s love got to do with it? I don’t know, Whitney…

April 29, 2010 at 1:48 am (Uncategorized)

Aaaaaahhh springtime.  The weather is warmer, the shiny, happy people are smiling… and you might say that love is in the air.

Or you might be a miserable son of a bitch who just can’t breathe it in.

I learned some new vocab yesterday: Springles! It does sound cute, actually. Like if you popped, you wouldn’t stop (kind of like everyone’s favorite chip). Spring singles are the root words of this new abbreviation.  And it is true, I do happen to know a bunch of people who have just recently become single. 

It is a single person’s world we live in. Or so it seems.  Everyone is always ecstatic when one of their friends is newly single, even if they were in a loving relationship. This is all good, you should be happy when one of your friends makes a life change and needs your support.  Often, they were in a bad situation and need the change.  Maybe they fucked it up, maybe they got fucked up, maybe someone fucked around… but any way you slice it, being single seems to always rule the scene. 

 I am an individual (if you couldn’t tell – HAHA), and am greatly in favour of taking care of yourself, always living your dream, and make sure that nothing and nobody will stand in your way… but you don’t have to compromise any of this in a relationship. I don’t know what kind of chromosome-challenged cross-eyed idiots YOU have been dating, but all the above aspects of your life can – believe it or not – actually be enhanced through a loving relationship.

                                                       

Everyone I seem to talk to lately seems to not only be in favour of being single….which is great!  If you are single and happier for it, then this is the best choice for you right now, and I am completely behind you every step and am glad to see a positive change in your life. To each their own…. but many people I have been encountering lately are violently against the idea of a loving relationship in any way, shape, or form, for themselves or anyone else around them.  And while I support all of my single friends to the fullest, the way people have been talking and acting about the whole relationship thing in such a negative way has really rubbed me the wrong way, to the point of being really offended at times.  Please be honest with me, and with yourselves: what is so terrible about a loving relationship, and being committed to someone who loves you, too? If you are against having a relationship EVER (which some are…again, to each their own), that is your choice.  But please do not try to convince everyone you meet that relationships are the work of the devil and that your ex made you cut your wrists, cry to the moon, insert sob/lesson story here.  I am sorry if you have been hurt, and I really mean that from the bottom of my heart, because most of us have been there at least once and it fucking SUCKS.  But please don’t let your jaded, angry opinion smack every lover in the face because you think “they’re all the same”.  Grow up and stop being so damn cynical and childish. To be frank: is it really necessary to be such a bloodsucker?  Does it make you feel better to bring down people who love each other because you don’t like the idea of love in your life at this moment?

Also: every time any boyfriend/girlfriend fight happens (no matter how big or small), people around the lovers often seem to try to push a breakup.  Let me just ask: would you dump your best friend (or any of your friends, for that matter) for any and every little quarrel you’ve had?  I’m sure your answer is no, and that you love them through thick and thin, and that you can forgive each other and move on.  You should also really be FRIENDS with your lover.  How else are you going to make each other laugh, and enjoy just chilling out together as buddies? Friendship is extremely important in any relationship, and I think that it is forgotten far too often in a romantic relationship.  Don’t get me wrong: you should never put up with bullshit and never let yourself be treated poorly, and some things are certainly unforgivable.  But every disagreement doesn’t warrant an ending, and a discussion can solve a lot of things.  Most arguments in relationships are usually misunderstandings, and can be easily and peacefully resolved, and lo and behold!  Make-up sex!  And, you will even be a stronger, closer pair afterward.  Unless you can’t stand the motherfucker to begin with.  Then it’s time to pack it up.

What I am slightly frustrated about, is that no matter how great (no matter what the ups and downs in) the relationship is, it feels like there is never any support or happiness for people in love.  Especially if (for example) your lovers friends (or your own friends who act way towards your darling)/both your colleagues/family/hobo who just can’t play those spoons right don’t make much effort to get to know you at all, hang out with you, be kind and welcoming…. in general, it is very clear when people don’t like your presence, and when they have just met you and refuse to get to know you, and somehow still judge you or are rude to you and find things to be negative about (and they actually know nothing about you in the first place), it is quite apparent, even without words.  “If all of us are single, this is a fucking drag” is the silent moan of some single friends/colleagues/family.

 If it takes a laboriously long time to admit that maybe someone you know is happy and in love,  then perhaps that is your head-game and your own personal problem, and no one else’s, and is it really right to drag down someone else? You have a right to your opinion.  But if the mere presence of someone new (whom you don’t know) in a friend/family member/etc’s  life is enough to rattle you so that you will childishly ignore this presence, and/or fight against it, well…. honestly…. what kind of friend are you, in that case, to hold each other back because of your own personal fears and stories? Here’s a small fuck you to all of you relationship-bashers out there.  If you can’t let go of whatever your baggage is, don’t drop it off at everyone else’s doorstep.  And if you and your special clique around you (work, friends, family reunions) are so very important, wouldn’t you want to share your wonderfulness with new people, especially someone who is very much in love with your friend/colleague/brother/mother?  Can’t you understand that New Lover would most likely want to learn more about you, too? No? Really? Ok. But be mature and let someone else enjoy love, and all its highs and lows.

Quite simply, whatever happened to warm welcomes, “love is in the air”, and respect for something so beautiful? I think they died with the faith that there is true love out there for anyone who wants it.  Here’s my welcome: Welcome, springles.  I hope that there are exciting new things on your horizon, and that you are able to seize the day, and be inspired to do something that scares you.  I support you, like Nike’s latest Dri-Fit Super Bra.  Please show me the same courtesy and be happy for us lovers, too.  Nobody likes Negative Nancy’s leech collection stuck to their ass, draining out all the joy and excitement of a sweet, peaceful union.

Cheers to springtime. And as cheesy as it may sound, may you always believe that love will find you, whoever you are, no matter the season.

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