Dr. Disability

October 20, 2010 at 12:58 pm (Uncategorized)

I had somewhere to be today – right now, in fact! But, I am at home, on the lifeless machine, typing away. 

There was something else I was planning to do!  About a month ago, I took up a new hobby, something I had secretly always wanted to do.  And it’s fantastic!  It’s one of the best things I could have done, and being a beginner, I have so much to learn, but it’s something I’d like to really work at (I have been working pretty hard!) and improve at, and hopefully be great at.

Boxing.  Yep! I was sweating my ass off in yet another hot yoga class, which I had been doing on and off for the past year, when a light switch flicked on: I hate yoga.  I hate yoga class.  These people around me are pretentious and kind of rude.  I really want to box, with the big gloves and the mouth guard and all that comes with it.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I gave yoga a fair shot for over a year.  I went to power, hot, and other classes. I listened to my friends’ claims about the physical, mental, and spiritual benefits of this practice.  I wanted to like it.  I have my own purple yoga mat.  But I didn’t really feel anything from it.  Sure, it’s great to stretch, and I will continue to use some of the stretches that I learned from yoga…but yoga didn’t change my body.  It’s not the greatest workout by itself, and if you are looking to be really fit, you need to combine it with another form of activity.  I wasn’t looking to change my body anyway, but I like to be challenged harshly when I exercise, and stay really healthy.

I also didn’t feel any spiritual benefits from it.  None.  I fidget during meditation, the guy next to me is dripping sweat on my big toe because there are 35 people in a 40 Celsius room… and I walked out of classes feeling like something was always missing.  Yoga just didn’t do it for me.  I applaud those who have been helped so much through practicing yoga, but it’s not for me and I am SO happy I finally just gave it the heave-ho.

 I used to get such an amazing spiritual lift from running… but I haven’t physically been able to run for months now.  Here’s what’s holding me back: Sesamoid 

In my right foot, one of those little pea-sized bones (sesamoid) has a stress fracture. The one on the right.  I have been feeling this pain for about…. over a year.  It’s been almost two years now, actually.  I have been in chronic pain with every step I take for that amount of time.  I have gotten a referral to a specialist, had 3 X-rays (the most recent of these was a CT scan), paid for custom orthotics, quit running, and have been wearing sensible shoes 97% of the time, and….and…

I feel worse.  Nothing has healed, my orthotics haven’t helped, and I am depressed that I can not exercise.  I love sweating, I love pushing my limits, I love seeing what my body is capable of doing… It was really hard to put a stop to running.  I know some people who would rather eat a cockroach than run 1km, but I absolutely loved it and am madly jealous of those happy, bouncy joggers I see springing past me on the seawall.

I figured, why not take up something else I will love? Punching bags and skipping ropes may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but oh my BUDDHA, this has been a glorious month or so.  The trainer at the gym pushes me hard, and I have already seen myself grow stronger.  I love it!  Boxing isn’t like anything I have ever done before, but I love every part of it, and starting from the very beginning is great, because everything is so new and exciting.  It’s exactly as wonderful as I thought it would be! 

I wanted to be in that gym every day this week, except…. today it hurt to walk out of bed.  Now, because I have to compensate for that injury, my ankle and shin are injured and my left foot is now in pain, too. 

I’m 23 years old, and goddamnit I am a healthy person.  I have been responsible about my health and been seeing doctors and following their advice and my foot has just gotten progressively worse.  It’s a FOOT, for fuck sakes.  It’s a stress fracture in a tiny bone in my foot.  It shouldn’t be that difficult.  I would take responsibility for this if I had been reckless, but I have been accountable for it and done everything I was told.  Which is just a confirmation that doctors in Vancouver are absolute moronic quacks who can’t tell their asses from holes in the ground.  None of these doctors or their receptionists can even figure out how to send each other x-rays, or remember to call their patients.  I’ve been doing research, and I have discovered that if a stress fracture in this area goes on for long enough, it requires surgery, or a bone graft.  Ouch.  Why should I have to pay for the mistakes and carelessness of these losers who can’t do their jobs?

I hope these idiots don’t get paid as much as I think they do.  I feel practically disabled.  It has been over a year since I saw someone about this problem.  How could it have gotten worse? 

It really sucks to think that I might have to give up something I just discovered I love, and I have barely even started.  Giving up running sucked. I was inactive this summer, gave myself enough time to rest and recover, and still…

I have given up on my family doctor already, because they can’t remember why they call ME for follow-up appointments and waste my time.  They can’t remember a thing about me, lose important test results and pages from my files, the office phone line is useless, and I love the guy but he’s too old for the number of patients he sees.  So I think I will take care of my health entirely on my own from now on. 

The next time you see a doctor, make sure they listen to you.  Don’t let them dismiss you and put you on the back burner because it’s no sweat off their back for you to be in pain or sick.  They don’t care.  They don’t get fired if you remain ill.  I wish every doctor could be more like the physiotherapist I go to… she listens to her patients, follows up with them, remembers their history (or has it handy), and is thorough and patient.  She has helped me to fix any old back/neck/etc problems COMPLETELY, and the only thing she couldn’t tackle was my bone problem.

Do your own research as much as possible, and the next time you see a doctor?  Make sure your voice is heard.

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